Special Gifts

pictures by Farhana Akmal

Assalamualaikum, it's been so long that I haven't updated my blog. I've been busy with....life? haha. I'm not a girl who used to write a long story on lappy anymore, who used to imagine fun stuffs and draw on a plain coloured paper, who used to sing infront of a huge mirror everyday, who used to take a lot of random pictures, who used to...ahh and so more. Well I'm still the same person but yeah..well I wish I can do those stuffs everyday again, since I became freshmen in MMU, I've been busy with assignments and my lovely club. Speaking of "club", I have this an amazing club ever, I mean well ofcourse all the members too. New friends. You never know how freaking funny they are, they're just the best ever, no doubt.

Take a look at all the pictures above!! heee

Well actually, all of it are the birthday gifts from Nana, a girl who wears a blue shirt in the picture. There are more random pictures of us in my lappy! That guy named Hidayat. He's the talent for Nana's photography project. Trust me, all the makcik cleaners never stop staring at him, and that was really funny. I was burst into laughter! He's really good at making flirty-sexy faces haha.

Gifts from elder brother

Speaking of 'birthday gifts', I've got an effing awesome birthday gift from my elder brother. He made me a card which is he never made one for me before. A card along with another present hihi. Look at the card!! I was amazed seriously. Too bad that Jonny Craig is not in the card *sobs. Mum bought me a new lappy since the old one is..... And dad didn't give me anything but seriously I really appreciate it. Friends and UPG family give me 'love' ngaww ♥ It was the best day ever. Virtual hug everyone through internet!! maann, I feel loved. Kay I start to talk nonsense and all soooooo that's all, AND THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYSSS for made my day :"> toodles! ♥

May 17th 2012

                            

Hai everyone! So I'm starting the post with a video here and it obviously it's about the day we met Farah Alyaa before she's gone to University which is now she's a freshman of the Uniten University.


First of all, I'm really proud of Farah Alyaa for everything. She has changed in the good way. And she's really beautiful in hijab! Actually that day was the first time my friends and I knew that she has changed...overall. We were startled at first! She made us proud, she made everybody proud of her. Your name is always in my prayer and so do the others. May your dreams come true. May Allah bless you, trust me He loves us and everyone in this world ♥

I know.. Oh well.

Peace be upon you and hai guys! :D It's been so long that I haven't post anything. Well I'm pretty fine here, my life is going so well. Plus, I'll be a freshman in Multimedia University on 27th May 2012 if I'm not mistaken....haha and I'm taking foundation in IT so yeah, probably I'll start my new life there and uhmm I'm pretty scared actually. It's like a baby step to be an independent or something and especially have to deal with upcoming situations there. Hope I'll be fine, pray for me x) I'll pray for you guys too, I'm sure you guys are just fine and having your wonderful life isn't it? Allah is always be with us anyway, so no worries. Just lift your hands up and pray :)

Anywaaayyyyyy, I've read this post by a young lady who had just married at 20 years old named Dena Bahrin. I swear to you guys that she's really a strong person ever. I think...you should read the post too :) http://denakamarulbahrin.blogspot.com/2012/05/1-my-love-story.html

I don't know about you guys but my eyes started watery when I was reading it.

so toodles loves ♥

You'll be startled...someday.

Well take a minute to read the picture above and feels the meaning of it. I retweeted those two tweets from my friend, Faris Imadi. I retweeted it because those tweets are really associated with my life now. 

You know that people nowadays are really jerk I guess, well not all of them, but certain of them. I think their job is making someone down. I know some of their harsh words can be affected to others. Well I used to it. To be honest, I was so freaking weak before and couldn't hold on it too long for the first. I was cried and hoping for someone to be there with me. I kept my pain bottled up. Finally, I saw those tweets and retweet it. Plus, I did 'screencapture' it! At the same time, my friend texted me, asked me to hold on and not to waste my tears for those jerks. This guy named Faris, can make my spirits boosting up. Sometimes his tweets can bring up confidence in someone's. 

To those who feel like him/her self are way better and 'perfect', don't underestimate to us who have a 'superiority' in a word of imperfect.

And this! I retweeted this from Darleen. There's like no words can describe how awesome she is. This is one of my favs tweets too like literally. "Great words there Darleen! ;)"

Desperation?

Desperation? Or... Something?

I'm going to talk about teenage life nowaydays, guys particularly. I'm not saying that all teenagers are the same, but most of them are being so desperate. I called them 'Dumbasses'. I'm going to associate this story with relationships.

Teenagers nowadays wanted something in a blink of an eye. They're not even put efforts to something what they want. They're just take a shortcut to make something happens so fast. This is really occurs in some of relationships. Based on my experiences, SOME of guys usually do this, and it define them how dumbasses they're. It's really annoyed me anyway. No offense.

Why I'm saying like that? It's because I met a guy who's desperate about something. We're just knew each other an about 2 or 3 weeks I guess. I assumed him as a common friend. Not even more than that. For the first time I knew him, I felt like there was something not right about him, so I just let it flows naturally and being ordinary. He was being bragged and said "I'm a funny guy, I know girls like funny guy!" "You know that somebody could easily fall inlove to a funny guy". Oh please do you need to say that? Dude if you want to impress girls out, you have to SHOW it, not BRAG about it. We all do believe in actions more than a big talk. Obiviously. So I just said "Proves it. I believe in actions. I'm not a idiotic who's believe in just a talk. Duhh". Then... It's nothing to be proved about. Bro, you messed with a wrong girl. I'm not a girl who's easily fall on to sweety words. Sorry for being honest. You can try to other girls who are desperately need you with your tricks maybe? No offense.

Why you need to force yourself in a short time to know someone well? I called it 'forcing the situations'. Obviously, it shows you how damn desperate you are. Why don't you just take a longcut to know someone well? Even it takes long time to make it happens, but it's WORTHFUL or worthwhile in the other word. Plus, a person loves seeing someone make a lot of efforts solely to be close with that person. Well I do! In the meantime, you'll having some experiences with the person, sharing problems, sharing interests, having fun together and so on. And from that, you'll be close to that person day by day. It's kinda awesome when you think about it. That's how you want to be close with someone.

Please don't be desperate or take a shortcut or forcing a situation to make something happens in a blink of an eye. It's a annoying thing. Plus it's not fun and not even feels romantic anyway. Enjoy every moment in your life. You don't have to be rushing. Chill out bro pfft :) For those who want to be in a relationship so much, you guys need to learn more. Search on Google is the easiest way or you can asks for someone advices. So yeah, goodluck anyway! 

Insecurities are killing me.

                                                                                                                     ph of me and cropped by me.

Insecurities are the killer.

Do you ever feels this way? Feels the heart crash into pieces?. 

I was born as imperfect. By what I meant 'imperfect' is I don't have a model looks. I don't have a flawless skin. I don't have a skinny body. I have low metabolism, so when I eat a lot and my weight is gained by a minute. So I need to balance my eat's schedule or do diet balance. I'm a alternative rock and british pop songs lover, but that doesn't mean I hate other songs and didn't say that 'Broadway' is a lame. I'm just a normal girl who's trying to change something in her life. Aiming something and wanted to make her goals come true.

"I don't want to be a ordinary girl. I want to be unique. I don't have what others have, but I know that I have something special about me that they doesn't have." - Ned, myself.

Nowadays I've found that I've lost self-confidence. By words and the past which always make me down so hard. And I've always wanted to say 'Mind your own business can't ya?' to somebody who made the insecurities exist in my life. It's not that I'm not appreciate what I have, it's just "SOMETHING" bother me and instigate my feelings. And all of sudden I feel so down. Until I burst into tears. So do you ever think that all these things worth for your tears? Do you ever think that the person who made all these insecurities exist in your life worth for your tears? Well I don't. That person are just the killer. Killer of your feelings. What my friend, Danial told me that don't ever let that person kills your feelings slowly. You have to stand strongly. If someone who's always makes you down, just think that there's a someone who will help you up and collects all your pieces of confidence back. And I believe for all what he said. 

Oh and to those who bring someone down, R-O-T it spells ROT in the hell.

Stop button

"If there's a 'stop' button for stopping the world, would you click that button?"

Honestly, I answered 'yes, I would like to' because I wanted to fix everything that became worst moments, days and so on. And my friend, Danial asked me "Why you have to do that? We're moving foward not backwards. There's no reason for that, look what you achieves sekarang kalau you betulkan semua tu, semua yang berlaku sekarang maybe never really happens you know". Well he's got the point too err. He was right, if I go back the past, I'll never learn from my mistakes, and so on. And obviously, I would never know how much awesome me is for being strong on the tracks before, HAHA k Ned k. And there's no a 'NEW' me if I go back the past and fix it. Everything has their own reasons. We as a human being living foward to make something perfect in present and waiting for the great future. I was realized by him, and I truly appreciate it. So dear friends, don't ever regret what have you been through before :) 

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